Ok so I have a bit of explaining to do. I recently moved out of questionable unstable home, ok so it's stable just in misery. I moved in with my grandparents because if I had to live with my parents any longer we would have of killed each other. But aside from that I live in the middle of no where, I have no social life, I already graudated from high school. My grandparents are mormons I'm not so they drag me to church. None of that is the real problem. This is what I'm having trouble with.
My only friends up here is Brandon and Allen. Allen is my brother in law's half brother and lives an hour or two away and Brandon is my friend that I can relate to we have the same kind of upbringing. Some of our veiws are different. But we're good friends and being as we're all each other have social wise.
We see each other every sunday when my grandparents drag me to church, he comes to see me, which is very sweet of him.
My only problem is the last time I saw him it was getting awkard because I know Brandon likes me.
He started asking questions I didn't want to answer like "what would your mom say if you told her you were in a serious relationship?" and other stuff that I did not want to answer because I knew he was hinting at him.

Well about the time we were leaving (god I wish I had just said "Got to go see you later") he asked if he could be my boyfriend in a calm panic I said I'd think about when the answer was already no.

In my denfense it we were approching the door and my grandma was there so it wasn't like I could say no and just walk off into the sunset (afternoon really.
Brandon is my friend and that's all I want him to be.
But I'm going to sound like a bitch here for a moment. Brandon isn't my type I couldn't even remember his name the first two times we met. I in all honestly do think Brandon is kind of cute but he has no self-esteem no confidence, he smokes and that's not something I care to be around.
And to make matters worse I've got the hots for Allen.
Yes I know it's weird it's my sister's husband's younger half brother. But I do like Allen and if he asked me to be his girlfriend I'd agree in a heart-beat.
And to add to my bitchiness I skipped out last sunday making Brandon wait another week for my answer which has got to have him on edge and I feel really bad.
And Brandon is the oppisite of Allen. Allen is really tall Brandon is really short and hates tall people. Allen is ambitous and can't wait to go to college Brandon wants to get a place in town, hopes to just get disquilfyed for bootcamp in June.
Me I'm really looking forward to going into the military.
I'm enjoying being single and I plan to tell the truth but sugat coat it when I see Brandon next week. I intent to say "it's not you it's me. I'm enjoying being single and I just got out of a long term serious relationship. I'm just enjoying being your friend. Besides my last relationship was with my best friend and in the end I lost my best friend, so I am on the uncertainty for dating people who are my friends."
What should I do?